What the Author in Your Life Really Wants for Christmas

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Authors are funny folks, and I don’t mean amusing (though I guess some of us do write darn good humor!) It’s hard to figure out what to give them as gifts for holidays and birthdays. You know they love to read, but you don’t know what they might already have read (Note: they have probably already read everything.) Well, gift certificates to bookstores are nice for everyone, not only writers. Just be sure to force the recipient to open a package to get to it, like everyone else has to do!

Nice notebooks are always at the top of a giver’s list, but here’s a secret: Should you ever sneak into a writer’s office or lair and peek inside one of the lovely journals lined up on their shelves (which is a terrible thing to do, and I am not suggesting you do it! But! Just saying, if you ever did!) you would find absolutely nothing on the pages. Except maybe a little note along the lines of: “Wow, this is such a nice journal – I hope I can think of something profound enough to write in it someday!”

We never use our nice notebooks! That would ruin them!

You can’t just write everyday drivel in a gorgeously bound journal – you have to write something eloquent and meaningful, immortal words you would not be ashamed to have as-yet-unborn generations discover and place in a museum, or at least make a fortune from on eBay.

The same goes for beautiful pens. Antique-looking, lacquered pens carved in the shapes of dragons or faeries are nice to collect, but writers don’t actually write with them. That would be sacrilege to the gods of lovely pens! Besides, if you are writing an average of 1,200 words an hour, fancy pens make your hand sore, and run out of ink far too quickly.

An internet search on “what to give a writer for Christmas” will turn up everything from computer bags to herbal tea to socks with famous literary quotes on them. Admittedly, these things are nice (I for one can never own enough socks!) Many of these lists also include mugs with snarky or inspiring quotes about writing. Authors do use these. I am almost as addicted to mugs as I am to socks.

Staff to take care of all the daily interruptions so they can just write for a dodgammed change would also be appreciated by your favorite writer. But if you can’t afford that, there is one very special thing you can give them that is pretty much free.

Writers want reviews!

Preferably good reviews, but even bad ones help.

It only takes a few minutes – less time than it takes to fill up your internet shopping cart, and since you’re already there anyway, why not stop and review one of your beloved author’s books? Heck, you can even perform a random act of holiday kindness and review the book of an author who’s a total stranger to you! Reviews help books rise in the “Recommended” lists, and thereby enable the the author to sell more copies.

Doing this is also a gift to readers, because it helps people find books they might enjoy reading.

Because in the end (and in the beginning, for that matter,) what authors really want is more readers.

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